I find it unsettling that some affairs are only discovered when the infidel is discovered purchasing a gift or present for their paramour. I consider it unsettling in that the distancing that often occurs in the relationship prior to the discovery of the affair is dismissed. It is as if the parties denied or ignored the artifact of the distancing. It is sad to consider that many consider the emotional estrangement as ‘acceptable’ or ‘tolerable’.
In terms of relationship dynamics, in some cases, the affair only makes the estrangement and distancing ‘official’. The dynamic is that the distance exists before the affair permanently cements the distancing in place. It makes the estrangement an established fact, whereas before the affair, it was a source of tension between the two spouses. By the time that presents are being exchanged, the estrangement has been in place for a while. It is important to address the emotional distancing is addressed when it occurs, rather than waiting for matters to deteriorate to the place where you have to take action and the options are severely limited. Waiting only increases the urgency of the options and limits the choices open to you.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey D. Murrah
One Response
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