Although the topic of selfishness is not very glamorous, it is often at the root of infidelities. Those spouses with extreme selfishness often seek immediate gratification of their selfish desires. They approach life with a “What about me?” mentality. Even when they show up for counseling, they focus on “What about my needs?” Initially, their focus seems legitimate, but the reality is that for them, “it’s all about me”. Although the phrase is commonly used on T-shirts and humor related items, the sad reality, is that such persons are unable to consider the needs of other people. They really do approach life only thinking of themselves.
When they have affairs, they justify it by means of saying that their needs were not being met within the marriage, so it was acceptable for them to have an affair. There is little headway that can be made arguing with such people or discussing matters with them. They are oblivious to other people’s needs or pain, they really are only thinking of themselves and can not consider other viewpoints.
Selfishness is a deadly serious matter. Even when it comes to pain, they only consider their own. When it comes to affairs, they only consider their needs.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey D. Murrah
2 Responses
That describes my husband! Affairs for 10 years. I had no clue. He and I are trying to pick up the pieces but he’s low on the empathy. I’m heartbroken. Thank you for the article!
Carrie,
Thank you for your kind comment. It encourages me that you found the article helpful in understanding a long standing problem that you did not know was a problem.