Dealing with a selfish spouse is not easy, especially when it comes to affairs. Selfish spouses view the affair as a ‘validation’ of who they are.
They may use terms like it makes me feel more alive, makes me feel more of a ‘man’ or more of a ‘woman’, it makes me feel ‘sexual’ or powerful.
On hearing such comments, bells and whistles should sound off alerting you that you are dealing with one of those affairs driven by selfishness.
If you’re dealing with an affair driven by selfishness, reasoning with them will not get you very far. They only consider the situation from their perspective.
It is often beyond their ability to grasp and conceive of an affair from any other viewpoint. If they do say that they see it from your viewpoint, it will likely be lip service and lack a certain amount of ‘genuine’ altruism. Selfish lovers are often charming, yet unavailable to consider or share your emotions or your reality.
When you hear “It’s all about me!”, the phrase is a warning, not a joke. Such persons are destructive to marriages and relationships in general. You may have some enjoyable grins and chuckles, but any serious long-term commitment is questionable.
Best Regards,
Jeff
