Affairs test the strength of your marriage and your family relationships. Whether or not to tell extended family about an affair is often a tough question. Although it shouldn’t be, it has become that way in many relationships. When family members sign the wedding book, most think of it only as being a record of their visit. Truth be known, it is actually part of a commitment that those in attendance are not only witnessing the event, but are publicly making a statement that they will support the union of you and your spouse. Since few are aware of this or hold the institution of marriage in low regard, they look at signing the wedding book as nothing more than an autograph album. When an affair comes along, you see what their word ‘really means’. In many cases, those who signed become part of the problem, urging you to “dump the chump” or “ditch the b—-“, depending on the situation.
The lack of regard for the institution of marriage by family makes dealing with affairs more difficult than it needs to be. Rather than it being a time of adjustment and working things out, it becomes a strained relationship where the whole marriage and integrity of the family are at stake. The uninvolved extended family do not realize that each weakened marriage in their family, weakens all the marriages. When such situations are ignored, marriage is no longer viewed as a sacred institution. Instead it is viewed as “Who are they shacking up with now?”.
If you want more on the impact of affairs on family members, you may want to purchase my e-book on affairs and children. In that volume, I address the needs of young children and those of grown children in response to an affair. Their needs are not the same and you may be surprised at which group has the hardest time adjusting.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
2 Responses
My family would definitely want me to leave him. They would feel this way out of love and a desire to protect me. I understand that marriage is a sacred vow, but he broke those vows when he had his affair. He broke them, not my family. He didn’t just weaken our marriage, he tore it to shreds. He did that, not my family.
That said, I am still with him. I have not given up yet. I don’t know yet if we’ll make it, or if we should make it, but I am going to give my best.
Learn How To Survive An Affair using the tips on this website. You can get through an affair and come out the other side much stronger for it.