In a recent webinar on Forgiveness with Doug and Linda, I addressed many of the issues related to forgiveness. In addressing these issues, it became clear that many couples are unable or unwilling to forgive due largely to ignorance.
Some of you don’t understand what forgiveness is, others don’t know how to forgive and others become impatient with forgiveness and end up short-circuiting the very process needed to reconcile the issues with a cheating spouse.
Some of you were never taught about forgiveness or were given bad directions when it comes to forgiveness. Forgiving the wrong way or in an incomplete way amount to unforgiveness.
Forgiveness doesn’t have to be a big mystery. Through becoming aware of how to forgive and what forgiveness is, your marriage can start the process of healing your wounds and hurts.
The wounds and hurts don’t go away overnight, but you learn ways of starting to live with them.
You don’t have to stumble blindly through forgiveness. The answers are out there. You also do not have to suffer with emotional and physical maladies made worse by choosing not to forgive.
The price tag of choosing not to forgive is far more expensive than taking the steps necessary to forgive your spouse.
Forgiveness does require that you and your spouse honestly deal with the issues in front of you. If you are not ready to deal with them in an honest manner, you are not ready to forgive.
Although the old saying is “Ignorance is Bliss”, when it comes to forgiveness, ignorance is an expensive torment, that few can afford to live with. Not only is it a torment, it destroys your health.
Did you know that researchers have found a link between cancer and unforgiveness? Did you know that your own resentments are making you sick, keeping you from losing weight and keeping you from sleeping?
Your ego is keeping you sick by it’s choosing not to forgive. That is a costly mistake. Your ego is not worth the destruction of your health.
If you have questions about how to forgive, what to forgive or when to forgive, you will want to watch the video “Forgiveness: Stop the Pain, Tear down the Walls and Remove the Roadblocks“. Forgiveness is the very thing your marriage, your health and your heart need for your own healing.
Best Regards,
Jeff
One Response
This topic brings to my mind the word “bachi.” It is Japanese for payback. It is generally used for when karma comes back around and bites you for something bad you did… like the western saying “What goes around comes around.” My husband’s wedding ring finger was injured last year and has still not healed properly. After my D-day, I made sure to point out to him that it must have been bachi for him to injure that finger. I rather enjoyed that conversation. I guess that was unforgiveness.
I am having trouble with forgiveness. I no longer want revenge nor do I want to hurt him, but I do have trouble with the fact that he seems to be getting off very easy for such a major transgression. I wonder if he has learned his lesson. And I want him to really understand my pain. I don’t know what to do with those thoughts and feelings.