Several years back, I met with a heart-broken wife who told be about sudden changes in her husband, including affairs which she attributed to chemical imbalances. Over the past few years, people have attributed many things to chemical imbalances. The challenge often lies in sorting out what is truly due to a chemical imbalance and when it is used as an excuse. When the chemical not in balance is alcohol, they may blame the affair on the chemical, which did cloud their judgement, but it is not the same as when a chemical in the cheater’s body is out of balance. Many times after head traumas, those injured loose self-control of sexual behavior. In such cases, there have been changes in the brain behind their behavior. There are also some neuro-toxins and psychoactive substance that can mess up one’s thinking as well. The challenge that I have yet to answer is why some of those who have been exposed loose control and have affairs while others do not. Not everyone who has been exposed to such substances act out with affairs. Yes, they have trouble controlling themselves, their urges and desires. This is seen sometimes in populations with dementia as well. They act out, but not all in the same sexually indulgent manner. When someone is being controlled by a chemical, be it produced in their brain or something they ingested, the rules concerning accountability change. You can not hold them to the same standards as someone who has self-awareness and self-control. Some chemicals do disable all self-control, such as those used in drugging potential rape victims. When you have been drugged, or chemically disabled, you do not have self-control.
Bottom line, chemical imbalances present problems when it comes to affairs. This is a reality that has to be understood and dealt with. There are some cases where chemicals may have played a bigger part in the affair than assumed. The culprit is the chemical and not the cheater in such cases.
At this point, mental health professionals need to learn more about the brain and brain chemicals along with their effects on self-control. If you do have a situation where you suspect chemical imbalances are behind the affair, discuss it with a physician or health care provider knowledgeable about such matters to clearly know what you are dealing with.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
