Lies are destructive to relationships. They undermine the foundation which the relationship is based upon. A close cousin of lies, which is also destructive to relationships is ‘false accusation’. Not only are affairs destructive, so are false accusations concerning affairs. There have been many jobs lost, reputations damaged and marriages strained by false accusations. You may have fears about what you imagine your spouse did. Those fears may be very real to you, and they may be very wrong. It is important that you have facts prior to taking action. What you assume happened is not the same as knowing what did or did not happen.
Although it is not pleasant to consider, there are some people who want to weaken your marriage. They want to plant suspicions of infidelity, they want to spread secrets, they want you to live in fear. Not ever person who comes to you with stories of your spouse’s unfaithfulness are telling you those matters out of concern for your marriage. Some may, yet you have to consider the source and what benefit they gain from telling you such things. Facts are facts and false accusations are lies turned inside out.
The cheater may be denying or lying about the affair. There are ways of discerning lies and denial. You need to be aware of those ways. Hopefully you are familiar enough with your spouse to know when they are lying or denying. If you are not aware of when those things are happening, then you have bigger problems than false accusations.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
