A tough question that periodically comes up is whether or not adultery is sin. If you dare bring it up, you’re likely considered a pariah which everyone avoids. There are times when the only thing worse than bringing up the question is answering it.
Adultery and many other acts are known sins. One of the typical responses you’ll get if you ask the question is someone pointing out a host of other behaviors that are considered sinful as well.
Those pointing out the multitude of ‘sinful’ behaviors treat it as if a multitude of ‘sinful’ behaviors somehow outweighs adultery as sin. The logic of pointing out a multitude of sins as a way of counter balancing one doesn’t make sense to me. About all this approach does is distract you from the topic of adultery.
The hope is that you’ll be so caught up defending what is or is not a sin, that you drop the original comment.
You’ll likely to also encounter some of those who talk about ‘not judging others’ or ‘who are you to judge me?’ kind of responses. They forget that it was not you who made the proclamation, you merely brought it to their awareness. When you dare identifying any act as sinful, you become a lightning rod for some highly polarizing comments.
There are also some who will give you real or hypothetical stories then question you about them. Some of those with stories have spent years crafting storylines filled with unlikely and improbable situations. Many times the story tellers are wanting their acts to be approved since they were either ‘special’ or had unique motivations in their lives.
It is rare that someone will take the approach, “Okay, adultery is sin. That makes me a sinner. Now what can I do about that?”
The answer to when some act you’ve been engaging in, is sin, is to stop doing it.Like pointing out some behavior that is bad for your health. The first action is stopping the behavior.
The action of stopping the sinful behavior is often followed by repenting for what you’ve done and asking for forgiveness. For some people, asking them to repent or ask forgiveness is like pulling teeth. Repenting does not mean that you suddenly have to do church work. It does mean that you stop the affair.
Admitting that adultery is sinful is also an admission that it was wrong. The affair may have left the cheater feeling alive and energized. It’s hard for them accepting that something that feels so good could actually be so bad. They’d rather not have anyone point out what is good or bad.
When you’re experiencing conviction, it hurts having someone point out the wrongness of one of your acts. It stirs up questions and doubts deep inside that you’d rather not disturb.
The reality is that many of us sin on a daily basis, whether intentionally or unintentionally. What makes the difference is what you do about it. Do you turn from the behavior in question and repair damaged relationships or do you persist in them no matter who they hurt or what damage they do?
Sins can be forgiven. Faults can only be corrected when you know about them. No one likes having their dirty laundry on display, yet if you’re constantly improving yourself, the dirty laundry is merely a temporary embarrassment.
I recall in my early years of playing football that coaches often pointed out my wrong behaviors. I didn’t stand right, I didn’t move the right ways, I didn’t execute plays the right way. From their feedback, my skills improved. Rather than hate the coaches or the discomfort of having my faults pointed out, I changed my way of doing things.
When someone points out that you sinned or that your spouse has sinned, rather than attack back, consider the option of changing your way of doing things and improve your marriage. The Affair Recovery Workshop is one way of accomplishing this.
Best Regards,
Jeff
