When you are recovering from an affair, there are times that you want to ‘do’ something rather than wait. In the name of ‘doing’, you may find yourself snooping or gossiping or joining with others in activities that do not make your marriage stronger or heal anything. When it comes to relationships, many of the problems requires time. It takes time to heal, it takes time for things to ‘sink in’, it takes time to consider what has been said and done. You have had your say, now you need to let the words sink in. In these days of instant gratification, you may be wanting instant results from anything that you do. I can assure you that if it is important and meaningful, it will take time. Wanting fast results and quick reactions is the kind of thinking that turned into an affair in the first place.
Delayed gratification is not fun. Although it is not fun, it is the healthy, functional way to handle matters, including the relationship work after the affair. Allow prayer, your words and your acts of love to sink in. Give them time to make an impact. Just because you are busy doing things does not mean that you are making progress.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
