When it comes to affairs, some cheaters do not play fair. They may be doing so out of either allegiance
to their lover, selfishness or some other motive. It may be that the lover is the one who is not playing fair, since they want your spouse and are not at risk of loosing everything that you are at risk of loosing. Regardless of where the unfairness is coming from, once it is ‘in play’, you have to deal with it.
What does that mean? It means that fear, intimidation and threats will be used to manipulate you. Fear has a way of amplifying potential losses and catastrophizing the whole situation. Once you give into fear, it is often contagious. Fear will have you feeling like you are scared of your own shadow and are chasing your own tail. The fear increases when the cheater (and their allies) bring lawyers into the situation. Lawyers mean more intimidation, fear and money. They never solve anything, only change the battlefield and the rules of engagement.
Rather than give into the fear, you will need to stand up to them. You will also need to have your own support system. Things are often more fearful when you are doing it all alone. Fear is about bullying you into doing what they want you to do. Rather than live in fear, choose to confront it. Confronting fear is not easy. It may have to start with confronting your own fears. You will need to overcome them enough to be angry rather than fearful in addressing the intimidation and bullying.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
