Having grown up in the Houston metropolitan area, I recall reading about some of the grisly events occurring in the city and surrounding areas. During that time, it felt like every week some new horrible event occurred.
One particularly tragic event was the death of Elizabeth Pena and Jennifer Ertman. Their murders made headlines at the time.
It was only after investigations uncovered all the details that their murder was tied into some gang initiations. All the gang members participated in traumatic acts.
With everyone participating, it spread the guilt between them, hid evidence and created traumatic bonds between those involved. What happened that night bonded the gang members together.
Once bonded, they were less likely to talk and reveal what happened.
Bonding in this case wasn’t a good thing. That bonding actually interfered with the investigation into the deaths of those two girls.
The point I want to emphasize is the power of traumatic bonding. Bonds are formed during traumas. Those bonds happen between violators and between the violator and the victim.
Those bonds keep people from talking and keep a connection alive. The connection increase in intensity as things become more dangerous. The more danger the higher the attraction.
If you wonder why the cheater is attracted to someone who’s bad for them or dangerous, the answer lies in ‘traumatic bonding’. Those bonds not only keep them from talking, it locks them into a way of thinking and behaving.
Traumatic bonds are one of the things that keep cheaters attracted to and locked into bad situations. They know the situation is bad for them, yet continue going back to it or desiring to.
If your cheater has formed traumatic bonds, the situation needs attention. It’s not going to fix itself.
In the October special report for members in the Restored Lifestyle community entitled “Understanding the Dark World of Sexual Addiction and Affairs” I address traumatic bonding in greater detail.
You still have time to join and obtain your copy of the report.
Rather than have traumatic bonding leave you feeling like you’re the one whose mind is slipping, find out more so that you can intervene in those situations and break the bonds.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
