Besides sexual addictions, there is also the threat of love addictions. There are some of you dealing with the specter of a love addiction either within yourself or your spouse.
With this addiction, those afflicted with it want love or romance so much that they are willing to use any kind of affair or sex to obtain it.
The excitement of getting the attention or love is so intense they’re willing to sacrifice any kind of dignity to attain it. With love addiction, the addict views their attainment of love as a ‘good thing’.
For this reason, they have no qualms about shameful or embarrassing behavior. When the affair involves extreme sexual behavior, you’ll want to consider the possibility of love addiction.
Since wanting love is a good thing, they do not see their addiction as a bad thing.
This inability to see the addiction as a problem often feeds into their denial. It keeps them from seeing the danger of what they are doing.
The sex addict has ‘sex’ as their main goal, and don’t care what they have to do in order to attain it. With the love addict, they view their goal as honorable and good.
In satisfying their goal of love, they also do not care what they have to do to attain it. Sex for them is just another way of attaining the love that they desire. Sex is part of the price tag of achieving the love and affection they so desperately desire.
When in the midst of their addiction, addicts are blind to the dirty deeds or lies they tell. For them, what matters is reaching the goal. For the love addict, it is being loved, being adored, being desired.
The love addict may be living in such a bubble they deny or split off what they have done to attain their desired goal. For them, an affair is just another way of reaching their goal.
When your spouse or their lover are a love addict, you have a big problem on your hands. They’ll stop at nothing to capture and hold onto love. That means that once they get a victim in their clutches they’ll not easily let go.
If the cheater is the love addict, they’ll do everything in order to hold onto the lover. When the lover is a love addict, everything is done in keeping the relationship going.
When you’re dealing with love addicts, suicidal threats are a common ploy. They’ll say or do anything in order to continue holding on.
Infidelity that won’t leave you alone may be a signal of love addiction. Knowing what you’re dealing with helps you better understand the needs of those involved.
In the downloadable “Affair Recovery Workshop” I address how you can identify needs based on what you go through. Knowing and finding ways of meeting the needs in your marriage is a key part of intimacy.
Best Regards,
Jeff
