In some of your lives, the time arrives that you face the decision of moving on after your wife’s affair. The point in time when that occurs varies from marriage to marriage.
There’s no one size fits all decision point that applies in every situation.
When that time comes, you’re left with the question, “How do you move on after your wife’s affair?” Moving on is a tough choice. When the decision is made, it has to be accompanied with follow through.
The follow through often includes closing the door on the past and continuing on with life.
In order to make that follow through workable, you need “clarity” regarding what you’re not going to put up with.
You need clarity as to what you are closing the door on. When you don’t have clarity, it make moving on more painful.
When you don’t close the door, you’ll find yourself going back and checking it time and again.
You also need clarity regarding what your wife will needs to do before letting her back into your life. This clarity is important for you and for her.
Another part of continuing on is ‘closure’. This means allowing the part of your life to close.
Closure is easier when you take an inventory of the good and the bad. With any relationship, there are good and bad moments.
The good gave you energy and hope, while the bad took those things away. Like going through old pictures, you take the good ones and leave the bad ones behind.
You take the good energy while leaving the negative behind you. Shutting the door on the past without taking an inventory of it amounts to throwing the baby out with the bath water.
You will also need ‘commitment’. You commitment may be to yourself, your values, your children.
Commitment is critical in moving forward. When you have commitment, you will have the strength needed for determination.
You will also need a commitment to doing what’s right. Along the way, there will be temptations to ‘get back at’ your spouse or other forms of revenge.
When you are committed to doing what is right, you can avoid the traps of revenge, self-pity and regret.
So to sum it up, you need clarity, closure and commitment.
One way of gaining clarity is the download, “Affair Recovery Workshop“. Just because she’s not coming back doesn’t mean you stop working on yourself. It doesn’t mean that you don’t need healing. It doesn’t mean you don’t need help with your communication and relationship skills.
Best Regards,
Jeff
