When you are looking for answers to basic questions like “What is an affair?” “What is considered cheating?” and “What does an affair mean?”, it tells me that you are confused, hurting and looking for answers.
When an affair hits, it has a way of making a scrambled mess of your emotions and thinking.
An affair means that someone has violated their marriage vows. They have preferred someone else other than the one they promised themselves to.
Whether or not they intended to put you in second place, they did through their actions. They may still feel that you are their priority or want to make you a priority, but their actions say otherwise.
There is a huge disconnect between what they say and what they did. They may not acknowledge the disconnect, but you feel it.
An affair means that someone lost self-control. It means that their ability to exercise self-discipline is impaired.
It may have been due to the influence of alcohol, environmental factors, etc., but the fact remains that they lost self-control. It’s up to you and them to decide whether it was a ‘slip’ or an intentional and willful lapse.
An affair means that boundaries were violated. When boundaries are violated, safety is compromised. The affair means that some security was lost.
When security is breached, danger fills the gap left behind. A danger now exists in your marriage. There is a threat to your relationship in your midst.
An affair means that there’s a breach in the spirit. In breaking your marriage vows, you violated a promise made to God and before all the witnesses at your marriage ceremony.
The affair is an indication that there’s a breach in their spiritual relationship between them and God. Oftentimes it is due to them thinking that they know better than God and have replaced the controlling influence in their lives with a selfish one.
In the recovery community they often talk about EGO, and say it stands for Easing God Out.
An affair means that they have eased God out of their lives. Sure there may be plenty of God words, but at that point it is all talk.
It’s a clear indicator that the cheater is just ‘going through the motions’ rather than being in connection and led by God. The Bible does not endorse ANY affair situation. It never has, it never will.
An affair means that the cheater is being driven by fleshly desires. It means that they are ignoring other influences and choosing their own self-satisfaction above all else.
Any way you slice it, an affair means trouble that needs your immediate attention. One way of taking care of the needs is with the training program, “Affair Recovery Workshop“.
The workshop guides you in rebuilding communication, finding better ways of handling conflict, getting your spouse to open up to you along with breaking the family patterns of affairs.
Best Regards,
Jeff
