A reader queried the question “Are cheaters happy?” In some ways this is a simple question, yet it also has some tricky applications. My initial response was in the negative, yet, then I realized the trickiness of the question and how the answer depends on how the word ‘happy’ is being used.
I was assuming that my view of ‘happy’ is the same as other peoples and realized I had been tricked by sloppy definitions.
Since happiness and happenings both have the same root, they share some similarities. In this case, happiness is dependent on ‘happenings’. This kind of ‘happy’ is conditional.
This is the positive emotional state that comes as a result of a ‘happening’ or event. In this case, cheaters are ‘happy’. They’re always reacting to events taking place in their lives. In many cases, they react with a positive way to ‘getting their way’. After the cheater has gratified their appetite and desire, they enjoy a few moments in a positive emotional state.
The word ‘happy’ also means you are successful, blessed, prosperous and harmonious. By the very nature of the affair, they’re not successfully married. They have failed at maintaining their marriage vows to you.
They have failed at being honest or harmonious.
The cheater is also not blessed. If anything, on violating their marriage vows they are under a curse. You can’t consider someone as blessed, when they are under a curse. They may be making money and getting promotions, but that doesn’t mean that they are blessed or that they’re able to enjoy it guilt-free.
The cheater is also not prosperous. That same curse that comes with an affair, carries with it the removal of blessings of prosperity. Yes, they may have attained sex with a stranger, yet there is not the prosperous state of mind and affairs that follows.
Affairs bring many things with them, yet peace of mind is not one of them. I have yet to see how when “D-Day comes with an affair” that it is met with rejoicing and praise from the spurned spouse. It just does not happen.
The cheater is definitely not in harmony with everyone. You can not claim harmony when they have conflicts going on around them all the time related to the affair. Secrecy and harmony don’t go together. Secrecy and whore-many on the other hand do go together.
So in response to the question “Is the cheater happy?”. The preponderance of definitions of the word happy dictates the answer is “No”.
They may be happy according to one definition of the word, but when you consider the bigger picture of what ‘happy’ means, the majority do not fit with the cheater. By the very nature of being a cheater, they can not be ‘happy’.
I’ve also found that many of those asking this question are upset. They find it unfair that the cheater is not experiencing the same pain they are. While they struggle making it through their day and keeping it together, the cheater seems care free.
They are focusing on temporary emotional states. They are not looking at the power of a clear conscience or experiencing the pleasure of enjoying things without guilt. They forget that although the cheater tries blocking things out, there’s a constant gnawing at their conscience.
They don’t see the damage done to the cheater’s soul or the tarnished reputation.
That’s why I created the video “Getting Past the Affair Crisis“. It will help you shift your thinking into a healthier direction. Rather than moaning and groaning over the unfairness of things and how the cheater’s not hurting, you can instead be taking steps at moving past that. The Affair Crisis is real, and you can know ways of moving past it.
Best Regards,
Jeff
