Even when you are not the cheater, you may find yourself dealing with the stress of a double life.
When you are dealing with the stress of a double life, it is as if you are in two different worlds. Each world has its own rules, its own goals and way of doing things. In may cases, you strive in keeping the two world from finding out about each other.
One way you keep the two separate is through secret keeping. You may find yourself having to hide information from people and keep their secrets. At such times, the secrets start controlling you.
Being able to control the secrets and remain aware of who knows what will eventually grow to be a task you can not control. The task continues growing larger and larger until you can’t do it anymore.
Another way that the two worlds are kept separate is through compartmentalization. Each world is kept in a separate compartment of your life. This works if there is little or not overlap between each life you live. The more overlap between the two, the more the stress.
When you discover what is going on the with cheater, you become a part of their world. They never asked your permission or whether you wanted to be a part of it.
In finding out about the affair, you were dragged into it. In the case of swingers, you may have voluntarily joined that other world, yet find that it is not as satisfying as you hoped. In each case, you are not having to face an existence of two lives.
Celebrities have glamorized leading two separate lives. Here are a couple of quotes by some of those who are trying to lead two lives.
At the beginning of the 20th century it was possible to have two separate lives. Some people even had two separate families. As technology has progressed the possibility of such distinctions has faded.
Rather than stressing yourself out trying to lead two or more lives, consider dealing with the issues and being yourself. The Affair Recovery Workshop is what you need to get out of the double life.
That double life is crippling your intimacy, its weakening your marriage and gnawing away at your emotional integrity. The longer the double-life continues, the more out of touch with yourself and your spouse you will become.
Best Regards,
Jeff
