As celebrities, there are many lessons learned from the Duggar family. Every family, including yours will leave legacies behind, including yours. With the Duggar family, their legacies become public. One of the price tags of popularity is that everything you do is in the public eye.
I was reminded of this this morning on reading how a photo of one of their children is being used by an infidelity hook-up site. There are times you may wonder, why they’re still in the news, and why these things keep happening.
One of the main lessons you can learn from the Duggars is that no one is totally immune from affairs. This means that even Bible-believing, church going people are not immune. As of yet, there is not affair vaccine.
They have been bold in their statements about recovery.
“We have committed to Him that in all things – difficulties or success, good times or bad – we will purpose to bring Him honor by staying true to our faith and our family,”
If anything, popular culture loves seeing the fall of Bible-believing church going people. Anytime a person in such a position falls, the media stumbles all over itself in exposing their clay feet and human frailties.
Another, even more powerful lesson is that when you work toward recovery from an affair and rebuilding your marriage, you’ll encounter resistance.
In fact, the bolder the statement you make, the greater the resistance you’ll encounter in recovery.
Although you may think that there would be more resistance about divorce, in reality, there’s often more resistance about rebuilding. Many of those you thought were your friends will oppose and resist the two of you working things out.
If you ever wonder “Why”, the answer is conviction. Whey you start confessing and rebuilding, it convicts other people of their wrongs and hidden wickedness. Even when you don’t preach at them, they still feel the conviction about what they’re doing.
They’ll find it easier to pressure you to ‘dump the chump’ of ‘ditch the witch’ than clean up their own relationships.
If you’re a person who likes to go with the flow, affair recovery will change your life. Going with the flow is what leads to bigger messes. When affairs happen, each of you will have to take stands.
Those stands may be against the lover, against the secrecy or even standing for doing the right thing. With each stand there will be resistance and fallout. There is no way of avoiding conflict.
The main difference between you and the Duggar family is that their dirty laundry is public information. Their laundry may not be any dirtier than yours.
A third lesson is that ‘an affair does not mean the end of your marriage’. Things certainly change with an affair, but it doesn’t mean that things are over.
An affair certainly tests the strengths of your commitment to each other and your love for each other. An affair forces the two of you to honestly assess what your commitment is about.
Affairs also test your faith. They test how strongly you believe in things like renewal, forgiveness and grace. If you are a performance oriented person who subscribes to the idea that once you blow it, you’re bad, an affair will devastate you.
Affairs also humble you. Whatever pride you had, you look at things differently after the affair. If you need help recovering from your affair, perhaps you’ll want to consider the Affair Recovery Workshop. If you’ve recovered, and want to keep it that way, then the Affair Relapse webinar may be something to consider.
So when you see the Duggar family in the news, look at it in terms of the lessons it teaches you. Had you been a celebrity, it could have been your faults being broadcasted across the world.
Best Regards,
Jeff
4 Responses
I absolutely appreciate this post…..indeed staying faithful to a prodigal is difficult especially when it comes from those who you would hope would support you as you stand for your covenant marriage
I am thankful for any who understand that marriage vows are not just words to your spouse but VOWS to and before the God who makes the two one flesh along with all the instruction needed to know what one is promising before hand
The wicked media and culture which to hand in hand in responsibility for encouraging and pushing sinful easy outs as well as the compelling urging to sin willfully with a cavalier attitude
Sad to realize that people would rather steep in the cesspool of selfish searching for vulnerable prey
Recently I happened to run across a site which gave those hurting from those who cheated to vent their bitterness by publishing the cheaters photo and info online! Also about the home wreckers
I did not post because it violates what I feel I see in scripture in how to deal with such pain and violation
It lowers to the level of those who do such things
I can see however how there is the idea to warn others of such people who are serial abusers
I think a lot of this is going in because there is less help in terms of legal recourse for those damaged by adultery
In our case had anyone stolen the millions and brought our entire family to the conditions we are presently dealing with in hand to mouth while those who commented such sin are continuing to gain more…..in any other stealing situation apart from adultery there would be jail time…this is still illegal…..cons seem to get away with it
The cost of even trying to go to court is huge!
I have one person I have tried to support whose husband took nearly all of the income and savings and even the monies willed by the woman’s mother to her
He withheld some mail which had a medical refund in only her name..just to be mean…he would not even be able to cash it
They went to court and by the time she got the letter the cost of the court and lawyer took almost all of it
The guy did one of those things where as he planned his escape he wooed her extra and planned with her to take a trip and the very next day she came home after a visit she took to see her son for an evening ….he had taken everything of his and moved out!
Before this she endured much abuse verbal and his acting out
They were married only five years but she made the mistake of doing what the Bible directs as when both regard marriage is…all things in common
He cleaned her out
And the cost of untangling their ..mostly her finances is costing her a lot just to try to get her own money and some support
She had quit her career since this guy was so compelling
This is a societal disease that is become more difficult to look to the courts system for any kind of justice seems to be just more of the end time scenario as we observe wide spread corruption
Ignorance of the many young people as to how to evaluate by character issues is scary to think they are voters ….but then the choices are difficult as we approach elections
Come Lord Jesus! Wake people through your Word !
Zaza,
It thrills me hearing that you appreciate the post.
There are few people that understand what vows are and their significance. Fewer still understand that marriage is a blood covenant. The stakes are HIGH, and most couples are unawares of the stakes at all. They often view marriage as something more like a bad business deal with a contract they try to get out of. If you think the price of court is high, they have not seen the spiritual and long term price tag for their frivolous views of marriage.
Although I realize the seriousness of it, I don’t force that view on others. I can lead them to water, but it’s up to them whether or not they are daring enough or thirsty enough to drink. I also realize that there is a time and place for court involvement, even though I don’t like those situations, I am realistic enough to know that they happen.
Adultery is serious business with serious consequences. Although it’s serious, you can recover and heal from it. A marriage tainted by it doesn’t mean it’s doomed. There are few people addressing this. It concerns me that even in the Christian community, it’s easier to find articles like this one, “7 Prayers to move on after she cheats”, than it is on the seriousness of affairs of ways of healing marriages after an affair.
I appreciate your stead-fastness.
Thank you Jeff
Watching the Olympics ..the marathon certainly is like the marriage life in so many ways….
The tenacity and commitment of the runners and some of the stories of the athletes is inspiring ……though watching is time consuming
One of my childhood friends was a good medist at 13…that was 1960 I believe
The cost was high for hero but also her whole family …..it was a 48 hour training and focus …..one lost along the way
Recently I met up with her…she still doesn’t trust in the Lord….a classic demonstration of gaining the whole word and thinking since the world …and those at highly visible power positions in all areas of world governance….there is yet to be any indication that she realizes her need for the savioir
So we pray as we continue to study to show ourselves approved into God workmen who need not to be ashamed before Jesus who we will all stand before one day to give account
I see a couple of Olympians give God the glory..diver. .David Boudia……and runner Allyson Felix…..couple others
Some did the sign of the cross but as far as I have studied the Roman Church worships another “Jesus ”
These are the days of deception .. None of us can do without the relationship with Gods Word that clarifies He who is The Way….The Truth… and The Life…..Jesus Christ the righteous
We continue to pray that the Lord will open hearts and add to the church such as are being saved daily!
Keep on Jeff…..stand fast upon the Word of Truth and having done all stand !
Be not weary in well doing for in due time we will reap if we faint not !ðŸžðŸ·ðŸ‡ðŸ‘‘
Gold medalist…