How do you feel about being lost? Being lost is not one of those experiences that I wish on people. There have been many times I’ve been lost, although a few really stand out. It’s always bed getting lost in a foreign country where you don’t speak the language.
One situation where I was lost, that stands out, happened in Florence (Firenze) Italy. After a full day of traveling and changing travel plans due to transportation strikes that shut down major ways of traveling, I was feeling pretty flustered. It was like a real life ‘Planes, Trains and Automobiles’. The airplanes were out, trains were out and the rental cars were going fast in a country where I didn’t speak the language.
Even my efforts at making things better by attempting to email and call my travel agent were met with frustration. Nothing was working as intended.
I discovered in a Belgian coffee shop that their computer keyboards are not like our keyboards. The letters are not in the same places, so sending ‘a quick email’ is not so easy. It didn’t help that the time difference was eight hours either.
So after a long and hectic day, we arrived in the rain at the Firenze airport around midnight, tired and frustrated. Things went fairly smooth picking up a rental car, and that’s where the fun began. I drive off with directions to a ‘recommended’ hotel in an unfamiliar car, driving in an unfamiliar city, at night and in the rain.
In an effort to help, we switched on the GPS, only to find that it spoke in Italian. Lost, in the rain, in Firenze at midnight, not knowing where I’m going, not able to see where I’m going and unable to find my way. …That made for a memorable ‘lost’ experience.
We found the recommended hotel, complete with Italian hookers outside. The night just kept getting better and better. We didn’t end up staying there and went in search of another hotel.
Things finally worked out, as they always do within the space of a couple of hours. That is one of element of being lost that makes it tolerable. You know that you will soon find your way to some place.
When it comes to your marriage after an affair hits, you may find yourself feeling lost as well. When you’re lost in a relationship, it’s not a situation that works itself out in a couple of hours. You never know when there will be light at the end of the tunnel.
You no longer know where you stand in the relationship, if there is a relationship or where the relationship is going. You are lost in your own marriage.
There’s also the emotional ups and downs along with the sense of personal betrayal. A relationship where you though you knew each other and had security is suddenly unstable and uncertain. Even though you see them, you don’t know if you can trust them or believe what they are telling you.
I was lost and couldn’t follow the GPS directions since they were in Italian and I don’t understand Italian. You are lost and don’t know if you can believe what you’re being told, even though you speak the same language. You’re familiar with the words, but you can’t be sure of what’s real and what isn’t.
Do you even know where to start talking with them? Do you know what the two of you need to talk about? If not, the latest video, “Hurting People and Healing Questions” provides the guidance and directions you need in overcoming those times you’re lost in your relationship.
Best Regards,
Jeff
