Over the weekend, while reading through news items I missed during the week, I came across one that grabbed my attention. In the story, Oprah was confronted on why she tells lies. Her response was That’s what people want to hear. The truth is boring.’
It’s no surprise that she has a huge following. She’s partly right. People do want to hear lies.
Lies allow you to believe something that isn’t so. With lies, you can make yourself into someone you’re not.
A few lies about your accomplishments transform you into a super hero, super lover and great spouse. A few well place whoppers can have people thinking that you are the greatest.
You can have people wanting to be you and thinking that you have all the answers to life’s challenges.
The lies you tell yourself also allow you to live with any wrong doings that you’ve done, including affairs.
Lies you tell others are about telling them what they want to hear. Lies you tell yourself are about hiding who you really are and what you’ve done from your own conscience.
Although she says “The truth is boring“, I disagree with her on this. The truth may make you less glamorous, or exciting, but that’s far from boring.
Although the truth may bore her and others, it’s truth that sets you free. That implies that lies keep you locked into relationships and memories. Lies are what people want to hear, but they shackle your mind and heart.
Think about that trapped feeling that comes with lies and living them. You always have to keep track of who you told what.
I’ve found honesty more refreshing and believable than lies. The truth in the form of honesty is what brings real down to your bones kind of change in people.
As a counselor, I could always tell when a person lied, because it was boring. It may have moments of excitement, yet that spark or aliveness and being genuine wasn’t there.
Clients who were honest were the ones making major changes. They freed themselves of the lies and the baggage lies bring with them.
The lie may be what others want to hear, yet in your marriage, you need honesty, which is one of the components of trust.
If you are trapped in a lifestyle of lies, you can do something about it. You can break free of this trap and start rebuilding trust in your marriage.
The video “How Can I Trust You Again?” is a way you can start leaving behind the lies in favor of trust.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
