When it comes to recovering from an affair, there are questions that you want to avoid. These are questions that create more problems than they solve.
When you ask such questions, you end up stirring up more conflict than you had originally. In previous letters and posts I addressed the ‘why‘ question which is one of them.
The other question that creates more problems is “What if”. This is a dangerous question due to how it shifts your focus. The question points your mind in directions it doesn’t need to go.
With the ‘what if’, your mind starts imagining situations and scenarios that haven’t occurred. You start imagining monsters that don’t exist.
Your body thinks it’s under attack and prepares for defending itself. All the major systems inside you go into fight or flight preparations. This is why others wonder about your defensiveness.
When creating these monsters, you body starts reacting to what your mind imagined. Fear, insecurities and suspicious thinking start taking over.
You may even experience some paranoid thinking when you stay in the “What if” mindset. These questions put your body in a defensive mode when there are little to no threats to it.
Your body thinks the threat you imagined is real. What’s worse is that it continues replaying your imagined nightmare.
Each time the ‘what if’ question is asked and your body reacts, you pay a price. Your body only withstands a limited amount of stress.
Each replay stresses your body and mind. When the accumulated stress reaches a critical level, something is going to break down, either physically, or emotionally.
If you are an over responsible person, you may be more vulnerable to ‘what if’ thinking. Your own responsible thinking starts working against you.
That same responsibility that makes you a good employee or boss is now tormenting you.
The good news is that help is available in the support community at Restored Lifestyle. There, you’ll have unlimited access to the videos, articles and resources needed for the challenges you face in recovering from an affair.
You’ll also have a community that can hold you accountable in changing any self-defeating habits that have gone wild while you’ve been recovering .
Best Regards,
Jeff
