My wife Peggy often reminds me that it’s the little things that make a difference in keeping our marriage healthy. I’ve taken what she said to heart and make little things a priority.
On receiving a letter from a reader, I once again saw how those little things have a major impact. Although I shared more in the support community, I felt that there was so much helpful material it would benefit you as well.
I wanted to share the relevant part of the latter with you so you can see in her own words what an impact the little things have.
“I had sex with another man once and it destroyed me. …
Our marriage had been going through a rough patch for years. We fought constantly about everything. The kind words from another was something I desperately needed to hear.
He told me I was beautiful on more than one occasion. He was someone I had known from school many years before but did not really know. We reconnected at one of my jobs, I worked in a store.
He sought me out after that one time, asking at the store where I was because he had not seen me lately. He then came to my other job. Big point here, HE sought me out, he wanted to spend time with me.
He made me laugh and feel good about myself. All things my marriage was missing. He messaged or called me every day, several times a day. We became good, if not the best of friends.
Then one day, I was mad at my husband, we had been arguing yet again, and I so I called up the friend and said hey lets meet. We did and I let things go too far.
I did not believe I was capable of such betrayal to myself, my husband and God.”
Her letter shows how when the little things are missing from your marriage, it creates potential problems. Those missing little things create vulnerabilities.
You may be great in the bed room and taking care of the big things, yet it’s the little ones that open the door to cheating.
It’s important that your spouse feels valued by you. They need to feel cherished and loved.
They have moments of vulnerability and neediness as well. If your recovery doesn’t address these things, it may only be a matter of time before you are facing another marriage crisis.
This is where membership in the Restored Lifestyle community can help. There you can know from the experiences of others how to improve your marriage while going through affair recovery.
The little things have huge impact. Things you are missing may be putting your marriage at risk. At Restored Lifestyle, discover six things you can do now that reduce the risk of affairs or affair relapse.
If all you want is getting past the affair without strengthening your marriage, you are missing out. Learning about the ‘little things’ makes a huge difference.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
