Millennials for the most part don’t know the joy of driving with manual transmissions. They’ve never learned about ‘three on the tree’ or ‘four on the floor”.
For the most part, I taught myself how to drive a standard through trial and error one long weekend with a 1964 Chevy Corvair. By the end of that weekend, my hand was sore and blistered from my experiences.
As my skills improved, I mastered downshifting and power shifting. I even took joy in how one of my cars had a four speed Muncie rock crusher with a Hurst shifter.
I learned the joy of shifting. When I couldn’t do something in one gear, I knew the gear that would do it.
There was a joy of going through the power curve that came with going through each gear.
Each gear had its own qualities and sound. I even reached the point where I could shift without using the clutch, just by knowing the sounds of each gear.
Marriage requires making shifts as well. Thinking of the changes you experience as shifts helps you realize that you’re still going in the same direction, just using a different method.
When you’re not used to making shifts or reading them, it creates problems. Your spouse may be going through some shifts in his life. Those shifts include changes in energy level, sex drive, emotional distance and attentiveness.
Such changes are also found with affair behavior. The big question is whether they are going through a shift in life or having an affair.
Having good communication with your spouse will help you determine which it is. Making the wrong call or not understanding such changes creates further distance.
Checking off boxes on a symptom list is no substitute for having good communication during such shifts. At those times, you need good connection.
At Restored Lifestyle, members have access to programs focused on improving and opening communication. These programs are part of membership in the site. If your communication needs improving when it comes to understanding shifts in your spouse’s behavior, you can find answers here.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
