One of the things that irritates me is when visiting with people who never turn off the television or even mute it. The constant sound, even at low levels makes conversation challenging.
Not only does it interfere with communication, it’s downright rude. I realize the whole idea of expecting people to have manner or social decency these days is unrealistic. It’s rare that you find anyone who practices social decency anymore.
For me, the incessant droning of the television is distracting. My mind bounces back and forth between conversation and the noise coming from the idiot box.
It bothers me more than smart phones, since it invades the whole space, whereas a phone only invades limited space.
In a similar way, after an affair, you may be plagued with constant noise in your head about what happened. Try as you might, your mind continues blaring thoughts about the affair day and night.
Even though you have some answers, they aren’t enough. Your mind keeps droning on.
Like the television, those thoughts interfere with your thinking, distract your attention and limit your ability to carry on decent social interacting. It’s hard holding a conversation with others when there’s another one going on in your head.
Those thoughts are intrusive and unlike the television, there’s no remote you can use in shutting them off. You are held hostage by your own mind. Being a captive audience, it replays what if scenarios and loops through painful episodes like communist torture interrogation.
No matter how many times you yell “Stop!”, the noise continues. Not only does it continue, each time it plays out, it weakens you and leaves you emotionally torn up.
Your friends may tell you to just stop thinking about it. That only adds a sense of guilt and hopelessness to your struggle.
You may try looking confident and having it together on the outside, yet your brain keeps telling you how you’re a loser who failed on the inside. After all those replays of your failures, it takes its toll.
If this sounds like your struggles, the challenges you face are not about your immaturity or unforgiveness. These struggles are about your body’s reaction to the affair trauma.
When your heart and mind are dealing with a trauma, they continue looping the traumatic event.
With the trauma of an affair, things change in your body and mind in a way to where you feel like they are working against you. It changes how you work on the inside.
The good news is that there are ways of changing that. Just telling yourself “Stop!’ is not enough. Neither will drugs and alcohol make it go away. There are numerous country songs about how the whiskey and booze can’t make it leave.
With Affair Trauma, you need a different approach. In the video on “Overcoming Affair Trauma” you can learn ways of turning down the noise.
Consider how your life will improve when you can have your mind and body back under your own control. You’ll be able to think clearer, hold decent conversations and enjoy people once again.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
