A couple of years ago, I received a shock from one of my friends. He posted some old photos of me on a social media site. On seeing one of the photos, my heart jumped and a sensation of panic shot through me.
It was a sudden shock. Those pictures were not supposed to exist.
I thought I’d disposed of all the embarrassing photos from my past. Although I’d cleaned out old drawers and files, I never considered that copies were in the hands of others. Now there it’s there for anyone to see and ask questions about.
That episode gave me a taste of what some of you may dread, especially when it comes to revenge porn. With today’s technology, hiding cameras is easier than ever before.
This means that not only photos, but movies may exist that you’re not aware of. Cameras are hidden in many common objects that the cheater likely overlooked.
The topic of revenge porn is one that even has the civil libertarians expressing concern. Some states allow it, while others forbid it. The topic is mired in legal confusion.
The questionable legal status doesn’t stop some people from posting it or sharing it. The questionable legal status or decency doesn’t stop some people. In these days when morals are optional, so don’t expect them to be held in check by doing what’s right.
When they had no hesitation about an affair, what’s to stop them from posting revenge porn?
A spurned lover has surprises that may include revenge porn. Audio recordings and texts are mild compared to the impact of revenge porn. A lover with ‘revenge porn’ makes a dangerous enemy.
When it comes out, embarrassment is only the tip of the iceberg. The shame that comes is devastating.
The lawyer Carried Goldberg, Goldberg, who is a member of the advisory board at the Cyber Civil Rights Initiative, wrote “The harms I’ve seen many of my hundreds of clients suffer – loss of employment, excommunication from religious communities, disowned by conservative families – are so major, it would be tragic to decriminalize revenge porn.”
If you or your spouse has had an affair, the topic of revenge porn is an unpleasant topic you have to consider. Sure, you can pay the right people and have it taken down, but there’s no guarantee of that happening.
You may forgive your spouse, but that doesn’t keep the bad effects of revenge porn from happening. The consequences are very real.
Even if you contain the porn, you still have to face the shame and trauma that comes with embarrassing photos and movies. When that happens are you going to be stuck replaying it in your head again and again?
Replaying the images or even filling in the gaps between the photos will torment your mind and heart. Even when the affair is ended, revenge porn keeps the pain going.
One thing you can do is take steps toward overcoming the trauma. In the video, ‘Overcoming Affair Trauma’, you can be guided through ways of moving past this modern day threat to your peace of mind.
You don’t have to continue living a daily nightmare. There are ways of moving past the instant replays of traumatic events and your body’s reactions. The nightmare can be slowed down and stopped.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
3 Responses
I once asked the question, what did they do with all the photos? Did you ever think you might be getting recorded? What if these items go public? She denied that as a possibility. Cheaters truly believe they are special. They are not based in reality! STDs can’t touch them. Their deeds won’t be discovered. I don’t have the ability to understand their mindset!
Anonymous,
Thank you for sharing your comment. You asked some pertinent questions. The photos and recordings are embarrassing for the cheater and heart breaking for the betrayed. The images make it harder to remove thoughts from your mind and forgive the cheater.
The thinking is very different. One physician I worked with once illustrated it as if ‘you take your head, turn everything upside down and reconnect it’. His comment has helped me understand the situation. Things have been rewired, with the normal checks and balance mechanisms by-passed. This is why I address brain functioning so much in my approach to affair recovery.
Best Regards,
Jeff
Anonymous,
Cheaters seldom consider the consequences. They are living in a reality they construct with their lover. The sad thing is that some spouses don’t discover things until it is too late, and the lover often share the same uncaring mindset.