It saddened me reading the news reports about a prominent New York City pastor stepping down due to infidelity. Anytime someone misuses their position of trust it weakens future trust based relationships.
Although your pastor may not have had an affair, the actions of this one raises some doubts. Those doubts have you wondering if it’s possible that it could happen.
The damage to trust leaves a long scar. Although damaged trust is a concern, this particular story stood out in another way. The pastor apologized to his congregation for what he did.
Apologies are good. Honesty is good, yet another question rattled around my head. That question was “Is an apology enough?”
When a cheater apologizes, it represents a start. It’s emotional, but is it enough?
My thought is that an apology isn’t enough in dealing with an affair. Apologies don’t go far enough in bringing healing to your marriage when it’s been damaged by an affair.
Apologies give you the appearance of honesty and accountability. Where they fall short is that they don’t validate your hurt, they don’t repair the damage, they don’t acknowledge the wrongness of what they did.
Apologies make great window dressing, but the kind of substance you need for real healing. Some of those making apologies sincerely believe they are making a huge step.
They may not know what to do beyond apologies. They don’t know what comes next after the apology.
Accepting the apology will reduce some of the pain, but reducing the pain doesn’t mean that healing is going on. Reducing the pain prematurely leads to irregular healing.
If you aren’t sure what to do with the apologies or want to have greater healing, the video “Forgiveness: Stop the Pain, Tear down the walls and remove the roadblocks” gives you answers and direction on what to do next.
In the video, you’ll learn what makes for genuine repentance versus a showy apology. If the pastor had followed this pattern, I would feel more hopeful about his situation and marriage.
Click and download your copy today. Within a few minutes you can start your healing.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
