Over 20 years ago, while attending a substance abuse conference in Houston, I was shocked for a moment by what a presenter said. I’d never thought about what he said. It was so surprising I found myself repeating it over and over in my head as I pondered his statement.
The presenter dared saying “An affair isn’t the worst thing that can happen”.
As shocking as an affair is, I realized that his bold statement was true. Since then, I’ve seen how true it is. As bad as affairs are, there are worse situations and events. Affairs are terrible but survivable.
Those worse situations are more difficult to forgive than the affair itself.
One of those worse situations is the sudden discovery of the true parent of an affair love child. This tragic situation happens quite frequently. It’s one thing to lie about an affair, it’s worse living a lie years after the affair is over.
This situation is painful for the child, painful for you and painful for your marriage.
Discovering that what you thought was your child isn’t and that it was hidden from you is stunning. It’s a kick in the chest. It’s the kind of news that turns your world upside out worse than an affair. It’s a heart ripper of an experience.
You may have had doubts and suspicions, yet nothing prepares you for that kind of news. such a discovery.
That kind of heart ripper wound is tough to recover from, both for the betrayed spouse and for your marriage. Although you can bounce back from an affair, I can’t promise the same kind of recovery from this kind of situation. “An affair isn’t the worst thing that can happen“.
When you’ve been the victim of such a heart ripper, you need something that gives relief. You need a way of letting go of the pain, just in order to live your daily life. Your life stopped with the news and now you need a way of getting back into life.
The best way I know of is starting with forgiveness. You need a way of letting go of all that pain before you can get on with life. You need the release that only forgiveness delivers.
Although I designed the video “Forgiveness: Stop the Pain, Tear down the Walls and Remove the Roadblocks” specifically for affairs, you need it for those things that are ‘worse’ than the affair.
You need to click the link, order the video and follow the instructions right away. You need it for your well being, keeping your sanity and recovering those shattered pieces of your heart and marriage.
There really are things worse than an affair. There are also ways of moving past them. It doesn’t change what happened, but it makes it possible to live with.
Keeping it Real,
Jeff
