One of the weirdest days of my life happened when I was informed that I was being investigated for sexual harassment toward a female employee. Initially, the accusations floored me. I couldn’t believe that my employee said such things about me. It had to be a misunderstanding. We’re friends, I told myself. We joke around, and I’ve never made her feel uncomfortable before.
Being hit with an EEOC investigation by the feds wasn’t my idea of fun. I felt stunned. I was mortified that my friends and family would find out. It took me a little time to convince myself that there wasn’t enough evidence for them to win a case against me, but still I worried about how much the process was going to cost me.
My job running the in-patient psychiatric unit was stressful enough without this new wrinkle.
It was awkward explaining to my wife that the EEOC investigation of me regarding sexual harassment was no indication of infidelity. I mean, it’s not every day that you come home and say “I’m being investigated by the feds for sexual harassment.”
That’s all it took for her to be supportive of me through the ordeal. Her unwavering support made everything easier for me. My attorney told me that a lot of times spouses tend to instinctively side with the accuser in EEOC.
If my reputation had been less than positive, such an investigation would have had repercussions for my marriage, my job and my professional licenses. Although unsavory, I found myself surrounded by false accusations.
I was also in the position of having to continue working with the woman making the accusations as her supervisor. Being stuck in that situation, it was essential for me to keep my composure calm, document everything and hope for the best.
Typically you assume that if you’re being investigated for sexual harassment that you are being unfaithful to your spouse. Not the case for me. My biggest fear was that my career as an administrator could be over, and that no one would understand why I got wrapped up in this mess.
When it comes to untrue accusations of sexual harassment, employers should investigate every incident thoroughly with multiple witnesses present. Just because something is said or claimed doesn’t make it true.
In my case, it was a matter of a disgruntled employee with a long history of using litigation in bullying others (I just didn’t know it at the time).
When all the dust settled, the accusations were totally dismissed. Although I survived the situation, it left me with some new scars and emotional bruising.
The situation taught me that some people make false accusations of sexual misconduct, including affairs. I better understood the impact that false accusations make.
I also gained insight about false accusers. When things don’t go their way, accusations and law suits are just another way of getting their way. There are some people who thrive on litigation and false accusations.
I also learned first-hand what it’s like being accused of something I didn’t do and the awkwardness that comes with it.
I learned the hard way that the EEOC is not a great place to go if you are accused of sexual misconduct. And, like me, it’s possible that you will be totally innocent and still get caught up in it.
I learned that there are some accusers who not only make false claims but use litigation as a club in making career advancements. It amounts to promotion through litigation.
That situation taught me the importance of prayer and forgiveness. It was not the time to lash out in anger or seek revenge. I couldn’t afford the steep price tag of revenge.
If you’ve been in the situation of being falsely accused of an affair, you’ll benefit from forgiveness as well. It’s not that you’ve done anything, it’s about restoring your emotional well-being. The video “Forgiveness: Stop the Hurt, Tear down the Walls and Remove the Roadblocks” guides you through what you need in making it through such challenges.
If you need help in restoring your emotional balance, click the link, order the video and in a few moments, you’ll start restoring the emotional balance in your life.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
