The first weekend of each month brings a radical change to the small town where I live in the Texas hill country. That first weekend is market day. People come from miles around for market day in search of curiosities and bargains.
In strolling through the market stalls you find a wide array of kitschy little enameled signs. One that always brings a smile to my face is the one announcing “Bless This Mess“.
It reminds me that real life is messy. As messy as it is, I love real life. There’s something about real life that energizes me.
Real life problems, dealing with emotions and facing the daily challenges is messy. Real life doesn’t go as smooth as movies or television shows. The constant parade of the visitors in various states of dress echoes that same messy sentiment.
I am grateful for such reminders.
One of the problems with affairs is that they promise a relationship without the mess. As one billboard I saw in Las Vegas proclaimed, ‘Have a relationship on your terms’.
Who wouldn’t want to have a relationship with someone on their terms? It seems so easy. You get the benefits of companionship without the risk, commitment, responsibility or mess. Well I’m sorry folks but that is one trick that won’t work for you.
Although affairs promise a relationship without the messy emotions, they never deliver on that promise. I can guarantee that there’s always a mess with an affair.
When you lie to cover up your dating or interactions with someone; when you use others as part of your deception; when you feel guilt and shame and worry about getting caught, these are not the ingredients for a peaceful life. It’s like putting gasoline on fire, it may destroy your marriage, your family and your finances
In fact, affairs make bigger messes of your life than real life does.
The promise of pure sex without ‘ messy emotions’ appeals to some. The unsuspecting cheater is actually acting crazy at those times. They are living in a make-believe world.
I say acting crazy since they seek gratification without consequences. They seek indulgence without mess. They seek relationship without commitment.
Anytime you indulge without consequence, it goes against the laws of cause and effect and plants the seeds of instability. That kind of existence is unrealistic.
There are always consequences and messes. Affairs are always on someone else’s terms. The moment you fall into an affair, you are no longer in control or dictating terms.
If your marriage has been messed up by an affair, there’s hope. In the downloadable, “Affair Recovery Workshop” you’ll learn ways of pulling out of the affair mess. You’ll need tools aiding you in escaping. These include brain hacks, communication strategies and tactical interventions that can turn your marriage around.
You can escape the affair and once again be thankful for a real-life relationship.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
