Today my wife and I dealt with the question “What’s wrong with people these days?” The question arose when the nearby flooring company sent a young man out to measure our carpet. He was… nice. Polite and actually human like, like you used to find in the past somewhere.
During a job before ours, his measuring tape broke. Rather than stopping by the local hardware store for a replacement, he arrived at our home later than the scheduled time. On arriving, he announced his measuring tape dilemma and promptly took off for the hardware store.
Since the hardware store is one the way, we questioned his reason for not stopping on the way. At that point we wondered “What’s wrong with people these days?” I would’ve figured since measuring tape is one of the tools of his business, he would have been prepared and had a back-up plan.
This had occurred to me during the last several times I’d gone shopping. During these shopping excursions, I discovered that most employees of retail establishments are not helpful nor friendly. The young men and women working in retail sales no longer feel the need to greet customers as they walk into a store. Nor do they usually bother with helping customers find items or simply responding to questions about an item or service offered by their employer.
Not having a plan may be fun for some aspects of life, yet when it comes to home repair, it shows poor planning and preparation. The whole situation had me wondering what I can learn from the situation.
Planning and preparation are part of doing a good job. They require effort and intention. He certainly didn’t live life by the Boy Scout motto of “be prepared”.
Then there are the ‘woke’ bunch who consider being prepared or planning ahead as being ‘racist’. I had always thought it was part of being professional and doing a good job. So if you do prepare ahead, there are some people who will ridicule you for doing so. It’s a no-win situation.
The flooring company worker’s actions remind me of impulsive cheaters. This type of cheater lives life by the ‘seat of their pants’. With little to know preparation, they go from crisis to crisis with little planning or foresight. They muddle through the mess they helped create, blaming everyone else for their problems. After all, they didn’t plan to get in that situation.
Going from crisis to crisis is one habit that works against you when it comes to affair recovery. During recovery, the cheater may handle the first few crises, yet eventually, their impulsivity catches up.
Each crisis wears their ‘affair resistance’ down a little more. They may have good intentions, yet lacking plan for recovery, will eventually stumble into a situation they can’t handle.
Lack of planning also contributes for ‘settling for quick fixes’ rather than having clear plans and purpose.
If the cheater hasn’t prepared for such high-risk situations with tools, like phone numbers, support systems and accountability, relapse is only a matter of time. Those going from crisis to crisis are also weak in terms of clear direction and intention in their lives.
Having clear direction and intention is part of a good plan. With direction and intention, there’s the possibility of forward progress. In such cases, you know what you want and ways of dealing with obstacles.
Without clear direction, their lives become a series of purposeless wandering in search of recovery.
I invite you to order the video, “Overcoming Affair Relapse” if you’re facing a situation with an impulsive cheater. In the video, you’ll gain a clear understanding of what makes for a good relapse prevention plan, and how that helps improve the chances of success for your marriage.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
