Are there times when you question whether or not you’re making progress in your marriage? You feel stuck between the past the future. You don’t want to go back and can’t move ahead.
When times like that happen, you may wonder what to do. Typically when you’re making progress, you don’t stop and evaluate or consider what’s happening. It’s when your stuck that you evaluate and consider things.
First, what is the ‘being stuck’ telling you?
There are times when being stuck is actually a sign that it’s not the right time. Being stuck can be the equivalent of waiting in line at a government office. If your stuck-ness is about timing, the best thing you can do is accept it and wait patiently.
Waiting on your spouse is something you learn to do. It often doesn’t come naturally. Giving them time is a way of showing them you love them and value them. Their time is just as important as your time.
Being stuck can also be a signal that someone is not being truthful about something or telling you all you need to know. You make progress by telling the truth. Progress is halted when the truth is withheld or being lied about.
In these cases, being forthcoming and telling the truth is a way to start moving ahead. Progress begins with telling the truth.
I have also seen the lack of progress tied to fear. Are there some fears holding you or your spouse back. Fear has a way of blocking progress. Fear happens when you start believing more in the potential bad that can happen rather than what’s actually happening or the potential good that could happen.
Fear is about having more faith in the bad than the good. I often talk to people about fear being misplaced faith.
There are times when it’s difficult discerning what your stuckness is about. This is where I encourage people to ‘trust their gut’. What is your gut telling you about being stuck?
Your gut may know more about what’s going on than your heart does. Following your gut gets you into less trouble than following your heart. (Note: I said gut, NOT stomach. There is a difference in the kind of sensation they have. If you don’t know the difference between gut sensations and stomach sensations, there are other issues needing your attention).
If you need more help in developing trust, we have a webinar on that topic.
Best Regards,
Jeff
