When your main goal is getting your spouse to come back to you, it’s not enough. When that is your main goal, you run the risk of the cheater using it against you.
Although some spouses would love to have their spouse come back and react with jealousy when that happens to you, there’s a danger you need to be aware of. The cheater could just be trying to string you along and use your feelings against you. If they sense that you’re getting too clingy or needy, they may use it as an excuse to leave again.
At that moment, you’re vulnerable. You want them back so badly, that you’re blind to a big danger. This danger has led some couples in making fatal errors.
This danger happens when the cheater comes back, expressing a desire for moving forward. When they say they want to move forward, they add the condition, “let’s not talk about what happened anymore. It’s over, let’s move forward.”
They add the condition so subtly, you may miss it. They want their relationship with you WITHOUT the accountability that comes with discussing what happened.
With that maneuver, they foreclosed on resolving the affair issues. If you weren’t paying attention, you agreed with them and the matter has an “off-limits” label on it.
With it being foreclosed and agreed to, the two of you buried an issue before it was fully resolved. You just wanted them back so much, that you let them put you in an awkward spot.
As much as that hurts, you need to be aware of the danger and take measures to avoid it. Do not fall into this trap because a cheater decides they don’t want to discuss what happened.
That agreement will haunt you. Anytime you want to bring things up, they remind you of it and refuse to discuss it. You may even hear “We moved on.”
A better goal is the repair of their relationship with you. Coming back is only part of it. Having accountability concerning what happened is another major part.
Another thing you can do is clicking and download the video “Overcoming Affair Relapse“. There are other dangers that arise during affair recovery. Knowing what to look for equips you for the needed transformation in your marriage.
Click and download today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
