When my youngest son was doing firefighting classes, I often wondered “What makes a person run into a burning building?” I was reminded of that on reading about how one of the landmark restaurants in the town where I live burned to the ground in the early morning hours.
The newspaper was filled with images of the smoldering ruins along with stories of how quickly the fire spread and lives were saved.
I considered what it was like for those volunteer firemen, awakened from their sleep, rushing to a fire and going into a burning building. The story brought the question back to me. What would make you run into a burning building?
My natural tendency is to run away from burning buildings. I see the danger and seek out safety. My training is that of escaping fires.
I suppose that when those firemen come to me for counseling, they wonder what makes me run into the issues and marital conflicts rather than running away. My training equips me for handling those emotional fires.
It’s easy saying that training makes all the difference. Training helps, but that’s not the whole story. It’s your concern for people that make the difference. When you care about the person in the burning building or the troubled marriage, you ignore the dangers. Your concern for the person overrides any fears of rejection or threats.
When you have that concern for the person, you don’t worry about their reactions. You run into the burning house to rescue them. You don’t worry about whether you are waking them up or them getting upset with you.
Seeing the danger of the threat gives you the motivation to help them. When your neighbor’s house is on fire, your concern for them gives you a sudden boldness in facing down any threats or dangers.
When your concern for your marriage overrides your fears of rejection or what other’s think you’ll be able to rush into dangerous situations as well. What it amounts to is love. Boldness comes when your love of them overrides any fear of their reactions.
It takes courage to run into a burning building and it takes courage to stay in a troubled marriage. Training can help but it’s your concern for the people that makes all the difference. Boldness comes when you love them enough to not care what they say or how they react.
One area where you can start finding boldness is by rebuilding damaged trust. When trust is rebuilt, you can be on your way to having the boldness to confront the affair. Boldness to confront the dangers of unmet needs and neglected promises. With trust, you can move forward with courage and love.
It can be difficult to find the courage when life is filled with fear but if your concern for others overrides any fear of rejection or criticism, then you have found the boldness you need to confront the danger.
The video, “How Can I Trust You Again?” shows you where you start rebuilding damaged trust. It shows you the practical steps needed in rebuilding your marriage.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
