On July 4th your attention is focused on the founding fathers and Independence Day. Since they are often put on pedestals you may not associate those influential founders with adultery and extramarital activities. One of my sons insisted that my July 4th email talk about the founders.
One of the founders who finally admitted to infidelity after being pressured to reveal it was Alexander Hamilton. Being the first Secretary of the Treasury, he may have been the first American political figure caught in adultery, but will not be the last.
It’s important to remember that these great men were human too. They weren’t just historical figures, but flawed individuals like any of us. It’s not surprising that they made mistakes and had their shortcomings. Just keep in mind that the same thing could happen today with any political figure who puts themselves in a situation of moral weakness.
Other historical figures like Presidents Dwight D. Eisenhower and John F. Kennedy were also known to have cheated on their wives. In more recent years, President Bill Clinton’s affair with Monica Lewinsky was plastered all over the news.
The founding father relationship I find intriguing is that between Thomas Jefferson and Abigail Adams (the wife of John Adams, who later became President). The two became close friends when living in Paris as diplomats. They developed a closeness, spending large amounts of time together going to galleries and events with each other.
Although there is no clear evidence of an affair, there were some oddities. Abigail’s husband, John Adams had previously worked closely with Jefferson, yet they became bitter rivals. If my wife was hanging out with another man in Paris, I could understand John’s being upset. Nothing gets a betrayed spouse upset like an affair.
When the relationship between the two men was at its bitterest, Abigail initiated a series of secret correspondence with Jefferson, unbeknownst to her husband.
I can’t say that they had an affair, but, when a wife has secret interactions with a man she spends many hours alone with in Paris, and that man is bitterly resented by her husband, it has the appearance of a secretive affair. Perhaps John Adam’s rivalry with Jefferson was more about jealousy than political differences. It certainly would explain a lot.
Another oddity was that a major topic of the secret correspondences concerned ‘forgiveness’. There are lines about President Adams forgiving him so their relationship can be “returned to the same state of esteem and respect for him which had so long subsisted”. I have to wonder what kind of behavior reduces a man’s respect for his fellow man other than adultery.
Thomas Jefferson saw the need for forgiveness as a way of restoring a strained relationship along with improving how others esteemed him. Whether or not an affair happened, something damaged their relationship, and needed forgiveness.
The bottom line is that these historical figures were just as flawed as any of us, and may have had some indiscretions that we don’t know about. We should recognize them for their successes and strive to learn from their mistakes.
Forgiveness removes the roadblocks that have been keeping you apart along with tearing down the walls that keep distance between you both. The video “Forgiveness: Stop the pain, Tear down the walls and Remove the Roadblocks” gives you the tools you need in forgiving and opening up new possibilities.
Jefferson knew the importance of relationships and how forgiveness ‘returns’ the closeness that once existed.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
