Have you ever wondered why some couples wait so long before getting help after discovering an affair? It’s a puzzling pattern that has caught my attention, and I call it “the delay“.
The delay refers to the time gap between the discovery of an affair and when couples finally seek therapy or counseling. What’s intriguing is that this delay seems to be a common trend, lasting about two years.
So, why do couples wait? What motivates them to hold off on seeking help? These are the questions that baffle me. I’ve noticed two distinct response styles among couples dealing with infidelity: the proactive ones who immediately seek crisis counseling, and the passive ones who wait and do nothing for an extended period.
Every marriage is unique, and therefore, the reasons for this delay are unique as well. But one possibility that crosses my mind is that it takes time for denial to wear off and for the realization to sink in that serious help is needed in order to salvage the marriage. They keep thinking that somehow it will either go away or fix itself. Sometimes, people need to reach a breaking point before they are willing to take action.
Another reason for the delay lies with the betrayer. They may hope that their spouse never finds out about the affair. And even if the affair is discovered, they might downplay its seriousness in an attempt to keep the marriage intact. Pride plays a significant role in these actions.
However, pride can be a dangerous force. It hinders vulnerability and prevents us from accepting the reality of our marriage. In fact, pride has led some people to throw away a perfectly good marriage relationship rather than admit to their mistakes. Pride can be an issue for the betrayer or the betrayed or both. Regardless of the source, pride damages everyone.
The unfortunate consequence of waiting so long is that the unhealthy patterns become deeply ingrained, making them challenging to change. But here’s the good news: you don’t have to wait any longer. The Affair Recovery Workshop is now available for download, allowing you and your spouse to work on your marriage from the comfort of your own home. Say goodbye to the delay and take action now.
Don’t let pride or the fear of facing reality hold you back. It’s time to keep it real and save your marriage.
Sincerely,
