The story behind the word ‘sabotage’ is fascinating. One version is that disgruntled workers threw their wooden shoes into textile machines in order not to be replaced.
Those wooden shoes were known as ‘sabots’. So when the machine was damaged by the shoes, it was called sabotage.
These days, my concern is not with textile machines. My concern is with marriages, and more specifically, your marriage.
Threats to your marriage come from many places. One of the most twisted threats to my marriage came from within the family.
It was twisted in that a family member used any opportunity she had for splitting up Peggy and I. No lie was too big or any interaction with a member of the opposite sex beyond the possibility of exploiting.
Since her main intention was splitting us up, she didn’t mind lying, exaggerating, spying, spreading rumors or other acts. Morals didn’t matter as long as she accomplished her goal.
She spread rumors about me having affairs, bad mouthed me to the neighbors and even called my pastor with her lies. She was on a mission and didn’t care how she accomplished it.
She manufactured rumors and high-drama scenarios like they were an assembly line. Screaming, name calling and accusing me behind my back became a frequent occurrence. She used her influence in trying to wear down my wife.
Fortunately, the threat was handled. Even though handled, she still managed generating unnecessary stress and distrust.
Some families intentionally attempt sabotaging your marriage. Instead of throwing wooden shoes into the machinery, they instead throw rumors and lies around. They plant seeds of doubt about either you or your spouse.
Since you are hard wired to trust family members, it makes you vulnerable to their lies and deception. Family members can do more damage than outsiders.
The reason they do more damage is related to the power of influence they have. Being family members, they know ways of triggering memories, guilt and doubt with what they say. When family is involved, you don’t even have to be guilty of having an affair. They just plant seeds of doubt about a potential affair.
When they have a long history of manipulation, they may not even have to use words. A simple look is all it takes in triggering reactions.
When family members threaten your marriage, your options are limited. They know your options are limited and exploit your vulnerabilities, like when the two of you hit a rough spot.
One of the things you can do when faced with such threats when your marriage is stressed is strengthen your marriage. Make it stronger.
One of the best ways I know of strengthening your marriage is by improving your marital communication.
In my program series, ’30 Days to a Better Marriage‘, I share daily instructions with you for strengthening your marriage. By strengthening it in some way each day, you end up with a much stronger marriage.
When family members know your marriage is strong, they know that their sabotage moves no longer work.
Order your copy of the series today and keep unwanted threats to your marriage from taking advantage of circumstances.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
