Have you considered the possibility that one of you is having an affair with your phone or social media? Your telephone and its social media apps may be convenient, yet be undermining your marriage.
When you spend more time seeking distraction or comfort from your phone than your spouse, there are problems.
Your phone presents dangers that you’ve likely never considered. Those dangers may be weakening your marriage and making it vulnerable to an affair.
One of the dangers of your phone is that it keeps your relationships at a distance. Sure, you stay in touch, yet while staying in touch, you keep everyone at a safe distance.
One of the consequences of keeping people at a distance is that it decreases your empathy. You grow accustomed to texting your thoughts rather than expressing your emotions. You live in a world with your phone instead of your spouse.
The dangers creep up on you. Over time, you lose interest in the feelings of others and your ability for compassion. The sad part is that the loss is so gradual, you aren’t aware that your capacity for compassion happens.
It happens little by little, until one day you suddenly wonder why you’re not close to anybody.
I call this danger, ‘cell phone creep‘. Over time you’re less tolerant of boredom, are uncomfortable being alone and lose the ability to reflect and think.
You not only lose the ability to be by yourself, the quality of your connection with others suffers as well.
Cell phone creep creates superficial relationships with others. Yes, you stay in touch, but the connection is on a superficial level.
When your marriage relationship is superficial, with sizable emotional distance, it’s only going to be a matter of time before an affair happens. You or your spouse will long for connection and closeness. When those things aren’t at home, they’ll be found elsewhere.
Who’d of thought that a device for convenience weakens your marriage in such a way?
The good thing is that you can do something about this problem. The “30 Days to a Better Marriage” series will help reignite the compassion, communication and closeness in your marriage. Rather than settle for superficial relations, you can have something better and stronger than you had before.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
