In working with couples going through affair situations, there are often difficulties with accountability. Oftentimes, the resolute spouse ‘overlooks’ faults rather than deal with them. It is not that they do not see the faults, they choose not to mention them. By not bringing those items to their attention, it creates a mutual ‘denial’ situation.

In having accountability, one brings the items to the persons attention, then works with them on dealing with them. That is where forgiveness or other actions are involved. If you choose to overlook after the items are brought to your partner’s attention, there are times for that. The not bringing things to peoples attention even before they are mentioned is not good. Accountability is needed. It is through accountability that honesty develops.

This will help you understand the importance of accountability.  Without accountability, it allows the adulterous spouse to keep believing their own lies and deceptions. If there is to be healing, the deceptions must be brought to a stop.

Best Regards,

Jeff Murrah

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