Intimacy is more that an activity that goes on in the bedroom. Establishing closeness with your spouse is often a challenge, especially after an affair (by either you or them). When working with couples that are attempting to heal their relationship, one of the stumbling blocks to overcome is simple, basic, communication. many times couples grow complacent with each other and no longer share how their day went. They often think that their spouse will find such talk boring and of little or no interest. It rarely fails that they make this assumption based on their own thinking rather than something their spouse has told them.
Good communication will start with small talk. Small talk is often how people begin testing the water before moving on to larger items. When couples fail to have small talk or interrupt each other even in little things, such actions send a message that discussing more sensitive issues would be a mistake. The interaction between the two is not safe. When things are not safe, people shut down.
In working to repair your marriage learn how to take turns and improve your ability to engage in small talk. You will be surprised at where the small talk often leads. It was often small talk that led to the affair in the first place.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
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