When it comes to resources for dealing with affairs, there are several that I recommend. The first is the educational program called “Affair Triage” available at www.surviveyourpartnersaffair.com . This program includes the topics and instruction that I often share with clients going through such problems. It provides the instruction and direction that will help you know what to do and what serious mistakes to avoid.
Other books I find helpful are “If Only He Knew” and “For Better or Best” by Gary Smalley. “His Needs, Her Needs” by Willard Harley is also a good one to consider. It can be be found at http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ . These are general books that often address some of the basic needs. There are times that more serious issues arise. I address these on a case by case basis. In the event of serious sexual addictions are present, “Out of the Darkness” by Patrick Carnes is one of the best for such issues. He also has some newer books out that deal with internet related concern.
These are a good place to start. Each affair and the issues related to it are different. Although people often want a magic skeleton key that will address all their issues, I have not found one. The affair is about how people responded to a situation in order to meet their needs (either real or perceived) . The work involved in discovering and addressing those needs are part of the work couples need to address in responding to their affair. Although lawyers, private investigators and some pastors equate affairs with divorce, that is not based on Biblical teaching. Affairs do not have to mean divorce.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
