The foundations of marriage were addressed in a Latin saying “Consensus non concubitus facit Matrimonium“. A rough translation is that it is the agreement to live with each other and cooperate that make a marriage, not the ability to have physical relations.
The Romans knew that marriage required cooperation. Marriage still requires cooperation. The very act of infidelity is one of choosing not to cooperate and willingly submit to ‘the marriage’. The infidel chooses to do things outside of the marriage commitment.
Although Rome during the Imperial years was filled with sexual licentiousness, the idea of marriage being a special relationship persisted. This is why some Romans had a marriage relationship and then they had sexual relationships.
Cheaters are choosing to be irresponsible to their commitments (or allowing another commitment to take precedence). If such behavior was applied to purchasing a car, where the buyer could not decide on a particular model and kept buying cars, and allowing them to be repossessed, rather than to fulfill his contract, it would be said he was irresponsible.
The actions of such a person would make it a poor business choice to do business with them. Although this is easy to see with making frequent car purchases, it is hard for people to accept regarding affairs.
An affair is an act of irresponsibility. It’s choosing not to maintain their obligations. There may be many reasons for it, but it is still irresponsible.
If you have had an affair or are recovering from one, begin fulfilling your responsibilities to your spouse. Even in little things, start returning to a responsible way of doing things. The ancient Romans understood this, and we definitely need more responsibility in marriages.
Best Regards,
Jeff
