One of the realities of human relationships is that over time we become like the people and things we surround ourselves with. This is very true with affairs. I have often seen the resolute spouse often compares themselves with the paramour. This is a dangerous practice. When you compare yourself with the paramour, you will always find yourself inadequate. If I compare myself with Mel Gibson, I will always come up inadequate. It is imperative that during the recovery process that you do not use someone else’s yardstick. You need to compare yourself with your potential, not against the paramour. Develop your strengths and abilities. Improving yourself will not be accomplished by comparing your body and personality with someone else’s body and personality. I use the question, “Who is in your mirror?” to express this idea. You need to be careful who is the person in your mental mirror that you compare yourself to.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
