Movies and television often portray affairs as rampant. I was made aware that there was even a porn movie that opened with statistics indicating that affairs were rampant. The question arises as to “What is the truth?” The reality is that affairs are not the norm. Many of those portraying that image have a vested interest in keeping the image alive that it is running rampant. The payoff to keeping that myth alive is that many people want to consider themselves ‘with it’ or in the mainstream. If the majority of the people in the mainstream are having affairs, then they assume that it is now accepted. Despite the media hype, affairs/infidelity/cheating is not the norm. It is not accepted as mainstream behavior. Affairs are not healthy psychologically, emotionally or relationally. Although some media outlets want to portray affairs as ‘just playing around’, those who have been through the experience know that it is anything but play. The stakes are high and the emotions are real. The experience is not ‘fun and games’.
Not only are affairs not the mainstream, they are not approved of by a majority of people. There are some social circles that are open to affairs, open marriages and swapping. Such social circles are not the mainstream, even though they attempt to portray themselves as such. If they were mainstream, the question arises as to “why all the secrecy?”. Why must such services and groups insist on discretion (another word for being secretive)?
If affairs were acceptable to mainstream culture there would be no need for discretion.
If affairs were acceptable and the new norm, there would be no need for private investigators to investigate affairs.
If affairs were the new norm, there would be no shame, embarrassment or hiding associated with affairs.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
