After some exchanges yesterday on a blog, it occurred to me that many cheaters use addiction as an excuse for their behavior. In describing the relationship to their lover, cheaters are using terms associated with addiction. Words like ‘addiction’, ‘obsession’, or ‘hooked on her’ are often used.
When your cheating spouse uses such terms describing the affair, it comes across as an excuse. It feels like they are saying that they couldn’t help themselves. It is as if they are talking like a crack addict looking for their fix. By using the language of an addict, they confuse what is going on. So how can you deal with people who do that?
It is true that sexual addictions and love (emotional) addictions exist. When you are dealing with a true addict, they will seek sex or love from anyplace and anyone they can find. They are not going to have the wherewithal to seek out their favorite honey pot exclusively. Yes, they may be obsessed with fantasizing about their lover, plotting out their next hook up and working to hide the evidence. In many such cases, the cheater may be more in love with the excitement of the situation rather than ‘in love’ with the person.
Many times we can learn things from nature that will enlighten us. In the book of Proverbs, we are told to “Go to the ant,…consider her ways..” In this case, consider how animals, such as dogs deal with similar situations.
It is not by accident that the term ‘in heat’ is used to describe impulsive sexual behavior. When animals are in heat, they often act irrational, refuse to listen to commands, and chase after the dog in heat. They become irritable, always want to go out, act more beastly and come across as a whole different animal. After the animal in heat is gone, sanity returns and your animal is back to themselves. In such cases, the animal is not addicted to the one in heat, they were just in heat.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
