Upon seeing your spouse you may be struck by something odd. He just does not seem to be himself. You notice that he is walking around in a daze, when you look at him, he is somewhere else. Yes, he is at the table with you, but his attention and his soul are somewhere else. At first, you may pass it off as him being tired, stressed or eccentric.
When it continues, you may begin wondering if something else is going on. He talks different and seems to have changed his values. As bizarre as it seems, you begin wondering “Is he brainwashed?” When those thoughts occur, you may dismiss them as ‘crazy talk’, but you can’t fully let go of them. Something is wrong, but your are not sure what it is.
Your assumption of brainwashing may be closer to reality than you thought. Cheaters often undergo changes. First the attention is redirected, then the emotions and finally the sexual union. Each of these changes are accompanied by changes in either the brain or the body.
When the attention is redirected, their mind shifts its resources to the new target. As part of that new target, their brains begin a rewiring process. When the emotions are redirected, the heart is redirected. The rewiring which began with the attention shift now intensifies. The intensity can be so strong as to over ride their will power. When they are in this state, they are susceptible to suggestions from the object of their attention and affection—their lover. The lover often molds and shapes the mind of the cheater. Some lovers do it accidentally, while others intentionally twist and turn their victims.
When sexual activity occurs, there is chemical bonding on top of the earlier emotional and attentional bonding. The chemicals released during orgasm often contribute to a restructuring of emotions and attention. The process of turning your spouse into their property is nearly complete. There has been a rewiring of their mind, heart and body. The rewiring has been reinforced and strengthened. As the old saying goes “a three fold cord is not easily broken”. The three fold cord is now working against you and your marriage.
So your question, “Is he brainwashed?” is a good one, although by the time you seriously investigate, it is too late to stop the restructuring of your spouse. Yes, he is brainwashed. He is also re-programmed. He may look the same on the outside, but his guidance system, morals, and desires have been changed.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
