When a cheater gets honest about affairs in their past, it amazes me how quickly things turn into ‘ancient history’. Even things occurred five or ten years are labeled ‘ancient history’. Somehow they believe that by putting the label on them as ‘ANCIENT” that you can not hold them accountable for those episodes.
Never mind that they did not tell you about what happened, they consider it “ANCIENT”. When you bring up your emotional reactions to the affair, you are considered ‘unrealistic’ in doing so. The cheater does not understand that the damage of an affair freezes aspects of the relationship. Whether five days, five months, five years or twenty-five years, the pain is still there and the pain is real.
The “ancient history’ game also has a few other items involved. If you are hurt about what they did they will say that you are ‘digging up the past’ and that “You need to let it go!”. It is amazing how they want you to let it go, when they also have strong emotional attachments to that past fling, even though they deny it. They would not have the reactions they are having if it was truly dead and in the archives.
In my experience, the affair is not dead until they have asked for forgiveness and show a repentant attitude. if they have done that and been honest with you, they have done their part. If you on the other hand have refused to let go, no matter how many apologies, and confessions the cheater has made, you may be where the problem lies.
Don’t be confused by the ‘ancient history’ label. Recall that many a scam artist has buried modern artifacts and calls them ancient in order to avoid the truth getting out.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey D. Murrah
