As a teenager, I often felt ostracized by others after an affair occurred within my family. It was as if those around were afraid of the the “affair germ”. On the exterior, people were pleasant enough, but I often sensed that they were uneasy having me around. It was as if I was bringing the ‘affair germ’ with me into their homes and inner sanctuaries. As a teen, I was working through the turmoil and trying to make sense of what was happening around me. Although people were uneasy with me in their homes, the real seeds of discontent and threat of affairs were coming through television and the movies.
The lifestyles promoted in the many programs changed over time. From traditional families, they expanded to include blended families and toleration of affairs. Those having affairs were no longer ostracized on television, but anyone with the slightest taint of an affair was ostracized in real life. I recognize now that the uneasiness was actually about their concerns that it could happen to them. They were having to examine themselves based on what happened to my family. I know that now, but at the time, it sure felt like they were scared of the affair germ.
When you are considering your affair, you need to also think through how it impacts your children. They will often be the ones to carry your burden and walk in the shadow of your reputation. Reputations still matter, no matter what Ashley Madison tells you. If there ever was an affair germ, it was about selfishness, and self-centerdness. Adulterers only think about themselves and their lovers. They only concern themselves with what they feel now, and their future plans. They forget the huge ripple effect their actions have on all those around them.
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Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
