When you are hurting, it is tempting to pain all men or all women with a broad brush. In your anger and frustration, you may say that all men _______ or all women _______. You may find yourself lashing out and prejudging any member of the other gender you encounter. Venting your spleen like that may relieve some tension, but it does nothing to improve your marriage or bring you closer to your spouse. You are hurt. You have a reason to be hurt and angry. Even though you have a good reason to be upset, that reason does not automatically give you permission to lash out at everyone you meet that is not your gender.
Along this line of thinking are the questions about what every man or woman does. Does every man have the desire to cheat? Is every woman unfaithful at heart? Such questions will end up poisoning your soul. Not only will they poison your soul, what good do blanket statements or judgements do in terms of attracting your spouse back or improving your relationship. You may not want anyone to get close to you, yet judging everyone on a broad basis is not solving anything.
When you ask “does every man have a desire to cheat?” is the same as “does every woman secretly want to be a whore?” As humans we all have desires. Some people have more self-control and self-discipline than others. Some really do not want to cheat. When you judge them so broadly, all it will end up doing is push people away from you and cause other bitter people to be attracted to you. You may even develop a ‘huddle of hate’ where you and like-minded persons bemoan how terrible members of the opposite gender are. That will not make you loveable. If anything, it makes you hate-able.
Think before you speak
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
