As ludicrous as it sounds, there are some of you who want to be lied to by your spouse. You may not have told them “lie to me!” in terms of giving care blanche directly, yet your actions may be sending that message. Perhaps during an argument, you offhandedly said, “Lie to me!” as a provocative or sarcastic comment, never intending for your statement to be a permission slip. The cheater’s mind often captures and remembers such comments. Their mind may incorporate such comments into their mental programming so that they can ‘lie’ to you in the future and not have intense remorse, all going back to you telling them “Lie to me!”. Keep in your awareness that the mind often ignores the word “Don’t”. so even if you insisted ‘Don’t lie to me!”, the cheater’s twisted mind often hears only the portion that it wants to hear, in this case, consisting of “…lie to me!”.
I have also seen spouses so desperate that they will choose to believe a lie, even though they know it is not true. Once, I witnessed a couple fighting. The man blurted out “Tell me what you want to hear, and I will tell you that”. The woman, so desperate for his affections, told him what she wanted to hear. He responded by telling her that, even though it was a brazen lie, and she was happy. She wanted to hear what she wanted to hear, even though it was not the truth. On hearing it, she want away with a smile on her face and the fight was over. I stood there shaking my head in disbelief. It was one of those incidents that had I not seen it myself, I would have thought “no way”. Now, I know better.
Hearing the lies may make you temporarily feel better, but they will not heal the relationship. Truth is the foundation that you need to build a healthy relationship on.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
