The idea that “selfishness kills” sounds extreme, yet if you have recovered form an affair, you know the truth of that statement. The selfishness of the cheater has killed your dreams about your marriage, and maybe even the marriage itself. They killed not only your dreams, they devastated your mojo, demolished your self-confidence and broke your soul. Selfishness kills just about everything it touches. You may have even had to wrestle with feelings of rage inside of you that were triggered by the selfishness.
I mention this, since many behaviors are dismissed as ‘it is just a little selfish’. That little bit of selfishness often grows into a monster than cannot be easily tamed. Selfishness left to itself often grows into a hideous misshapen monster. It may be easier just to call it a ‘freak’. This is because selfishness has killed the normal healthy growth process.
As you tackle all the aspects of an affair in terms of the lying, the betrayal, and hiding, keep in mind that the monster that you need to learn to hate is ‘selfishness’. That is the monster that spawned all the lies, deceit, and terror in your life. Somewhere along the way, someone fed and nourished the monster. You will have to recognize the danger of selfishness, and learn to HATE it in all its forms.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
