You may have wondered if it is possible to run your spouse off. Yes, you can make your home life so unbearable that your spouse wants to leave.
This doesn’t excuse or cause the affair, although it’s often a major contributor in setting the stage for an affair.
You can run your spouse off in many ways.
One is through the creation of conflict and discord. This can be done through the creation of conflict or never letting an issue die.
By keeping conflicts alive well past their past due date, you can push them away. When you nag, preach or lecture your spouse, it pushes them away as well.
Yes, you may be correct, you may be telling them the truth, yet HOW you deliver it is a major part of the message. When the message is delivered the wrong way or in the wrong spirit, the negative outweighs the any benefit of the message.
Never making time or space for your spouse often sends a message that they are not wanted or valued. You may talk about valuing them, yet never have shown them that you are important by making space or time for them.
Remember that jobs are temporary, while marriage is a long term commitment.
You may have messed up by acting as if your job, career or hobby are more important than your marriage. Jobs that require serious commitment like law enforcement, the ministry, the military, medical care, and teaching often intrude on marriages.
Since these jobs are important, or often driven by crises, they intrude on marriage and often force spouses out. What’s urgent is not always what’s the most important.
Some spouses are run off through neglect. You may have made time or space for them, yet you have not taken care of their needs.
When you neglect doing little things around the house, some spouses will take that neglect personally. They often project your neglect of home issues as a neglect of them and what is important to them.
They view you putting things off in the same category as putting them off.
Financial problems and hardships can also push spouses away. The problem is made worse when one spouse splurges on what is important to them, yet expects their spouse to continue bearing financial hardships.
Such behavior often leads to resentments. An old German proverb is “Where no money is, love flies out the window”. That proverb captures the problems of financial neglect or selfish priorities.
As you see, there are many ways you can run your spouse off. When they run off, they are at higher risk of running into the arms of another. Rather than repairing the damage of an affair, it is easier take preventative action.
The problem with preventative action is that like the messed up priorities mentioned with some jobs, spouses often neglect what is important while focusing on the urgent.
When your spouse leaves your home, it’s cause for concern. If you’ve run your spouse off, you need quick action. The longer you delay, the higher the risk their departure becomes permanent.
The downloadable “Affair Recovery Workshop” guides you in what you need for rebuilding your marriage. Changes are needed, but do you know where to make them? The workshop guides you in what to do and where to do it.
Best Regards,
Jeff
